Is it going to be different?

As I sit here and face the prospect of becoming a father of a little boy, I wonder...will it be different?

I mean, I already do cool guy stuff with the kids I already have. Well, with Emma. She and I play catch in the backyard, we fish together, she has shot my guns, and has one of her very own...thanks to grandpa Pratt. We also watch superhero flicks together, play video games together, and she drives my car when mom isn't around and we are in the backwoods. I'm molding Emma to be the cool upnorth wife who wants to wear beautiful dresses to church, but put on camo in the afternoon. She is enthusiastic about life, extremely intelligent, and has a bit of the "drama" in her...which I have no idea who she gets that from...?

Mikayla on the hand, continues to defy my ideas of what I thought she would become. Amanda and I have both commented on the fact that we thought she would have been more like her Aunt Angie as a child...free spirited and, well, kinda tomboyish. And, in some ways she is like my sister - athletic, stubborn...er...strong willed, and beautiful. However, unlike her Aunt, Mikayla wants to go to school to become a "Princess". She cries when she can't wear her pink "sparkly" clips in her hair, sge puts on her Cinderella dress daily, and has selection of play heels that would make my friend, Stephanie, jealous. Aunt Angie would have rather taken a flaming hot poker to the eye instead of wearing a dress. Mikayla screams at bugs and since it rained yesterday, she won't go out to the car because the "snakes" (aka worms) will get her.

She watches a steady rotation of Barbie and Disney Princess movies that all have pink covers and sappy stories. She dances around like a ballerina, pretends she is an ice skater, and, oddly enough, has a knack for puzzles. She is as wonderful in her girliness, as Emma is in her desire to do "something special" with me.

So, what will Logan bring to the table? Will it be different?

Actually, what I have been thinking about recently is what am I going to bring to to the table? What would my girls and now, my boy, say about me, if they were writing in their blog about...as my girls so sweetly call me...their "old man"?

What would they say about me up to now?

What would I want them to say?

"Dad was always there for us. He would hold us when we were hurting, he would make us laugh until our sides hurt, and we always knew, no matter what, that he loved us. He wasn't perfect. He would be the first to admit that, but he would tell us that he was wrong when he make a mistake and helped dust us off when made our mistakes. He told us the truth, because he loved us, even when we didn't want to hear it. He loved our mother and was an example of how a husband should treat his wife. He played ponies with us, went on walks in the woods with us, and always had time for us. He was gentle, patient, and generous with us and others. He prayed with us and for us, every day. He was a good dad."

That is what I would want them to say.

I don't know what special dynamic Logan is going to bring into my world, but I know what I want to bring into his.

Now, if I could only get him to show up!